Thirty Four

Today I am thinking about my age. Especially since my birthday is just around the corner. I remember being little when that TV show 'Thirtysomething' was airing and thinking about how old that was and how it would be forever until I was that old! But of course, here I am, a thirtysomething woman almost middle-aged with crows feet and silver hairs threading into the brunette. But I suppose it doesn't really feel that old. 

Radishes

I have realized that most of what makes us is our past. No matter how hard or easy it is. The adults we ultimately become depends on the lessons we have had and whether we have truly learned from them. I suppose my way of looking at the world can be considered unusual, at least for the current days. I've always respected the simple life. Even when my friends chattered about living in mansions and marrying rich husbands in my high school days, I longed for something different, and I think better. I have always heard it was better to live in a cabin with a floor of stone, to come home to loving arms and a giving family, than to live in a mansion with floors of gold all alone. And I have tried to live my life that way. Even though I have made many mistakes in my past.

 

I have seen hard times. I have had weeks where there was no food in the fridge or cupboard. I remember watching someone eat a cheeseburger in the park and being so hungry because I had not had a meal in two days. I lived without running water for 5 years. And with almost no help, learned to wash clothes, dishes, and myself with only two 5 gallons of buckets drawn from a house down the hill and walked up the ridge every day. I survived, and I learned from it. And I have learned to be so thankful of what I have. That I can run water from the tap to clean my dishes, that I can flush a toilet, that there is always something to eat for my family, or if someone comes to visit. And I'm sure those who know me personally know my creed is, "When you come to my house, you will be fed!"

People ask me often, 'If you could go back, would you  try to correct your mistakes?" Yes and no. Of course it would be easier to make better decisions and live a better life. But where would I be now? Would I have met my husband? What about my son who means the world to me? This house, the horses, the garden....How could I even fathom giving all of that up? The experiences that are in my past, make me who I am today. And you must all remember, learn from your past. Don't dwell on it. But realize that you are who you are because of your past. Whether living out of a car, or in a nice secure house. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. 

Lilly at the fence asking for an apple

And the most important lesson dear readers, is keep learning. Keep growing and changing. Whether you are 16 or 60. And don't let your age get you down. It ALWAYS gets better.